Doing it

Moving officially on August 18!

See more progress on: live in california

I’m frustrated

Fell off the wagon with this one. Or is it on the wagon? Either way, I’ve been really, really angry at myself lately. And pissed off at choices I made.

I am also nearly finished reading A New Earth, in which Eckhart reminds me there is only this moment. So I find myself asking who is the “I am” that is angry? And who is the one who made mistakes? They are not separate. Am I angry at memories? I’m so confused and I just want to be free of all these negative self-critical emotions.

See more progress on: forgive myself

WHY

I want to feel alive and motivated. I want to be constantly moving toward goals and ideals. If I am not growing, I am dying; It’s a simple truth. If I lived the rest of my life like I am now, I am in for a long life of just existing… living a routine that translates into RUT with occassional high points. Gotta learn to keep the momentum when I have those moments! I want to move through all my fear and hesitations and start doing thing that matter to me. I want to make and keep connections and do what makes my cells wake up!

See more progress on: To live instead of exist

Passion unfolding

I know what I want now. The picture is getting clearer every day. With every step I take, the direction sort of unfolds before me. Crazy how that works. I only know which direction to go once I start moving. I finished my first music score for a short digital video. It was a one day project that fulfilled me more than I had imagined. That has to be the best feeling. It’s like being in love. No, it’s better. It’s like being Love itself. Life itself.

See more progress on: live passionately

from the kabbalah

I get daily emails of spiritual reminders. I get several actually, but here’s one that rang very true for me today.

Most of us aren’t 100% real. We are too afraid to show our true colors, to unfurl the flag of our true thoughts and emotions. We think people would run away screaming if they saw what we really looked like. Or we think they would fire us, drop us, hate us, judge us, tell others, or worse if we spoke from the heart.

Life is too short to waste it being fake.

Today, find the true grit needed to be who you are. Say what’s on your mind. Let your true face speak. The more you accept who you are – and share it with others – the less energy you will need to spend on hiding.

A New Earth

Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth

I’m in love with this book. I want to devour it, but reading it is like a meditation. Love.

A New Earth

See more progress on: To live instead of exist

doing well

I’ve been doing really well with this one. But until it’s a habit it will stay on my goal list.

See more progress on: walk 30 minutes 3 times a week

Untitled

My department at work has announced they are having free yoga classes every Monday night at work. Funny how the universe keeps giving me opportunities to achieve my goals and take care of myself.

See more progress on: Practice Yoga

my friends

I am thankful for lifelong friends who, just by my being in their presence, remind me of my place in the world and help me remember who I am, why I am here and where I belong. I haven’t laughed as much I did this weekend in a long, long time. Why? Because I so easily allow myself be weighed down by the past, by an illusion of seriousness, by the illusion of the way I think things are supposed to be.

On self-esteem

Here is a comment I left for a younger soul on 43things. I wanted to archive it here because I was really speaking from my heart and hope it helps at least someone who reads it:

If I may…

just give some general wisdom I’ve learned over the years. Rest assured that EVERYBODY has those voices. Absolutely everyone has an inner critic and ego (however bruised) that is mean and rude and puts you down and constantly tells you that you are not good enough. I think that’s the most important thing to understand first so you don’t feel so alone.

After you recognize that for what it is, you can begin to replace those thoughts with much healthier ones. They are only thoughts. I suggest reading something like Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life. Or Wayne Dyer, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.

Best wishes.